A former teenage author turned twenty and her stabs at writing life and living to write.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

On Hands and Knees

Four rejection letters down. How many more to go? Can I even stand this process any longer? Ah, there's the true question. And I don't know the answer. With every no comes the very sharp reality that I may never find anyone who sees the potential in my book as I do. I may never find an agent who is devoted to my characters, concerned for their welfare, and swept away by the fantastical setting. And what will happen if I don't? Will I have the ability to simply shelve my manuscript and forget it's there? See? This is going to be a lighthearted posting today!

I dream about my characters, my world. They talk to me. And when I put them down on paper, they often seem more real than many things in this world. I sound crazy. I know. But I think that kind of connection is unavoidable when someone writes the way I do. With my imagination, I am swept away in a fantastical world that perhaps no one can truly understand as I do.

Okay, so that's the beautiful, imaginative part of writing a book. And now that it's over completely, I am forced to compete with the millions of authors in the same boat as I, trying ever so desperately to catch the eye of SOMEONE!!

Maybe I should start my second book. I mean, I've already planned it to do so at some point. I just always thought I would try to market the first one all I could before trying my hand at a sequel. But I just don't think I can handle this part of a writer's life. Does that mean I'll give up? No, at least not for now. I want to explore just a little more, see if I can tear up any more pieces of my heart before putting my manuscript on that little shelf that I spoke of earlier. Maybe I will start the sequel, providing that time allows for it. I'm itching to continue her story (my main character) as much as my own... through her.

That's all I have for today. Rejections, rejections, and more rejections. Maybe, though, I will someday find an agent and all this heartache will seem so unnecessary. Maybe I will even look back on these times and appreciate all I've learned from it. In any case, I'm not giving up quite yet. You haven't heard the last of me and so on and so forth.

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