Princess, Queen, Angel

Only Ten Months Old

My little foot lingers
Pointed toward you
As I wonder

Will you catch
Me if I fall?
But I take a step of faith
Touching my mismatched sock to the ground

But my little toes are far
From ready to carry
Me toward your waiting arms

The floor flies
Toward my fearful eyes and
I close them but I never feel
The blow of the hard wood floor

I look to see
You smiling
Back at me and then I know
Mommy, you're my hero



Only Four Years Old

It’s been weeks
Since my hair was brushed
I wanted to wear it
In a bun just like you

And if you ever felt
Embarrassed by the pink tutu
I wore down the aisles of the grocery store
You never said so

You always threw
Your head back and laughed
And called me your princess
Your own little princess

I always looked up
To you and saw what a Queen
Must be like

So I made you a crown
From old paper and crayons
And I was glad that princesses
Grew up to be Queens because

I wanted to be you


Only Sixteen Years Old

I won’t lie
We don’t always agree
But you’re the first
I come to with everything

You pinned my hair up
Buttoned my dress
And as we sat there together
I could feel you looking at me

Did you feel this was a turning
Point in my youth
That I was finally grown

Or did you watch
With an wiser eye
Seeing all the mistakes I would
make in my life

The doorbell rang and you almost
Jumped but answered
It with a smile

No interrogations were made
You held Dad back
The way you looked at him
Made me laugh

And as we left you looked
At me and I prayed
That you saw a little
Of yourself looking back


Only Eighteen Years Old

You bring out the last
Box and throw it in the car

You apologize for your hair
Tied back in that red bandanna
But to me you’ve never
Looked so beautiful

We both speak slowly
Trying to delay
That single word
That final word

You wrap me in your
Arms. A tear falls
From your eyes

I wish there was something
I could say, you whisper,
Some pearls of wisdom
I could offer

You’ve given me everything
I need, I whisper back

But even as I drive away
I am afraid


Only Five Years Old

The hospital had smelled
Of sickness and death

Here at home was where
You belonged

Your face looks so pale,
Your eyes so empty

It feels like now I should
remember all the beautiful
Times we shared

But all I can think
Of is the future, looming
Ahead without you and I can’t see
Without the light

Your fingers move slowly
Covering my hand
How cold they feel!

And I’m again
A five year old girl
Needing your comforting smile
To whisper what to do

I’m still just a princess
Not ready to be Queen


Only 1200 Seconds Old

Did you hold her close
in your angel arms?
Sing her to sleep

I hope you let her hear
You laugh, see
Your smile

I hold the world in my hands
And it’s funny
That the world
Is so very small

Her eyes flutter
And I don’t want to move
Let her sleep

Maybe she’ll grow up
To be a musician
Or a writer
Or a dancer

I want to protect
Her keep her safe
There’s so much darkness
And she needs light

A smile turns
The corners of my mouth
And I look up
Past the confining walls

I lean in close
To her baby ears
I know what you’ll grow up
To be I whisper softly

A Queen